Is Fido Smarter Than the
Average Human?
“Dogs are not that bright after all. So says
a team from Exeter & Canterbury Christ Church universities, which has found
that dogs are no better than pigs at identifying humans by their smell, no
better than goats at following human pointing & no better than pigeons at
remembering things…
As the owner of 2 greyhounds, Velvet &
Dash, all I can say is this: tell me something I don’t know…
Dash is so stupid he doesn’t even know he’s
not human. He sighs when he settles himself on the sofa. He tries to join in
conversations…If my wife, an interior designer, is doing a photo shoot, he’ll
make sure he’s in the shot & cross his paws daintily as if to say ‘Ready
for my close-up now, Mr. DeMille.’
He treats going to the vet as though he were
a minor royal on a visit, marching into the surgery, lying on the floor &
raising a paw to signal that he’s ready.
When he barks the house down at 4 in the
morning & I go downstairs to let him out, he honestly thinks I’m as pleased
to see me. Out walking in a field, he’ll run around & round in circles at
top speed while Velvet watches him with a winning mixture of pity &
disdain.
…She’ll stand by an open door & look as
though she’s forgotten not just where she was going but the entire rationale
behind the concept of doors themselves. In the 6 years she’s lived with us,
she’s never been upstairs once…
Needless to say, none of this matters.
They’re loyal, & warm, & funny, & loyal. Besides, intelligence
comes in many forms. Like all dogs, they’re incredibly emotionally intelligent.
They know when you’re down, & know, too, the value of simple touch, to
nuzzle up to you & comfort you with their presence.
We may have given Velvet & Dash the love
they never got in the first period of their lives (they’re both rescue dogs),
but the love we’ve got back from them has been many times that.
…Dash can perform complex calculus, in order
to work out precisely where in the kitchen to lie, & in what configuration,
in order to cause maximum inconvenience to those preparing Sunday lunch.
He’s also indulgent of me calling him the
same name over & over again: Hoozagoodboy…
Come
to think of it, he & Velvet get to sleep whenever they like, are fed twice
a day, & watered, & loved, & generally have nothing to do other
than please themselves, while their owners run around working, paying bills,
cooking, cleaning, washing & so on.
Who are the stupid ones now? In my next
life, I want to come back as a greyhound- clearly in every way a higher form of
being.”
Boris
Starling
London
Daily Telegraph
In The
Gazette, Montreal
Oct.
25/2018
Cute Critter Pic:
Weekly Chuckle
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